Dear Mr. Brown
We are two artists who work as one, and a funny thing is, we both come from dysfunctional families. No, no, no, I mean DYSFUNCTIONAL.
Anyway, we got very excited about helping you and being helped by you the other day when we read a cute little interview in the New York Times. It was about two of your artists who just happen to be our favorites: Rirkrit Tiravaija and Elizabeth Peyton. They spoke highly of you and your enterprise. But what was like a friendly slap in our faces was when Ms. Peyton said that you Mr. Brown and the artists that you represent were like one big happy family, and you were the daddy.
We don't have much experience in a healthy family life and don't know how we would function in a totalitarian regime like that, but we are willing to give it our best shot daddy. After all, we are all people, even crazy guys like us. If you adopt us, you can have the logo included in this letter for free. If your family is not ready for emotionally and socially troubled, but distinguished sons and brothers, (which would have been a great challenge for you as a parent) then you have to pay us $500 for the print-ready film and permission to use it.
We are all His children,
p.s. We are good artists.
p.p.s. We are friends of a girlfriend of a friend of Piotr Uklaski, and we loved his disco show. Crazy Ruskies.