Bon Giorno Signore Castelli,
Greetings from A.K.U.S.A.. We are a two-man art collaborative who are writing you to confront an important issue: The glory days. Think back when Lichtenstein, Johns, Warhol and the gang were just pups suckling on the teat of art school. Sure, they were good artists, but it was you Signore, who had the vision to show them. However, a dealer's work is never done. God put you on this planet to create more then just one or two art movements.
Now I want you to take a step back and think about that evil Mary Boone. She followed a similar path twenty years later and now she is sitting up on 57th St. next to Tiffany's, resting on her laurels, watching time pass her by. You don't want to go out like that. And that's why we're here to offer you a new look. A logo. One that has humor yet dignity. A logo truly be-fitting a man of your stature. The Lion is the king of the jungle and you are truly king of this crazy, mixed up art jungle. But some lions require a little extra courage, like in The Wizard of Oz. So gather up your courage and just say, "Yes, I will buy the rights to this new look. I will buy print-ready film of the enclosed logo for a mere $1,000.00. And while you're at it, A.K.U.S.A., Send me your slides. After all a hungry lion requires fresh blood. He has to remind the other animals who is really king." Please respond by January 1, 1998. Grazzi.