Dear Mr. Jeffrey Deitch,

The European art world is in many ways different from the American art world. In that way the art world is like the real world. What we think is cool here in New York, the people of Berlin think is good for nothing, or more likely they have never seen it. It can take years for an American invention to reach the mainland of Europe. And then when it gets there, they just spit on it.

We seem to recall that you spent most of your youth in Europe, or should we say, wasted your glory days out of ignorance and arrogance for the 2nd world. Well thank god that's behind us.

We are glad you have turned around and opened your project space in SoHo and not Cologne. But do you know what?... We have seen it before. We are not talking about the projects you show, (which we have never seen, but have heard from reliable sources that they are quite excellent) we are talking about your so-called "logo". Have you ever heard of a fellow named Andy Warhol mister? Well it just so happens that he made a piece that is, fortunately for you, little known in America but is peculiarly similar to your logo. We are not implying that you are a plagiarist. However, we took it upon ourselves to design you a logo, which we figure for only $500 (for print-ready film and the rights) is a steal compared to what you can expect the Andy Warhol Foundation will sue your ass for if they find out.

In your best interest,

A.K.U.S.A.