Dear Mr. Gorney,
This is really embarrassing, but we've always thought your gallery was called, "Jay Horney". Then we heard some of the rumors about what a horny little devil you are. Then sometimes we heard it pronounced "Gorney". The first guy who said this was sort of an idiot, so we kicked his ass because we thought he said your gallery was corny and we think it's the greatest. Than we looked in the Gallery Guide and saw that sure enough its spelled G.o.r.n.e.y.. Suffice it to say though, that that guy isn't talking bad about your gallery any longer.
Anyway, we felt we owed it to you to design a logo for your gallery. The enclosed logo reflects what we thought your name was, but at the same time lends dignity and beauty to your gallery.
We are offering other logos that we have designed to other galleries for $500.00 but since we have so much respect for your gallery, we'll only charge you $250.00. Or, if you put us in a group show, it's free.
PS: That whole "horny" thing will be our little secret.