pierogi

 

Pierogi 2000.  This is a letter for you,

 

   We have all seen that Kubrick movie, 2001.  We all loved it, some of us still do, and some of us wonder if computers are really going to be this crazy in just 4 small years.  In the year 2001 the movie will be a fucking joke.  The same thing might happen with 2010 the movie, but let's not talk about that, it makes me sick just thinking about it.  Let's talk about what is going to happen to your gallery in the year 2001.  We predict that you will be very successful in the year 2000.  On New Year's day 2001, you will be a laughing stock, and will probably have moved to Chelsea.  People are going to say: "That gallery used to be cool in the nineties, it was in Brooklyn too".  You don't want that to happen.

    But don't worry, be happy, we can help.  Our solution is that on  New Year's Eve 2000, you change the name to Pierogi 2001, a year later, 2002, and so on.

   We don't fool around, we also figured out an easy way to do it which involves the logo we made for you. It's cheap, and if you decide to buy it, it's even cheaper.  $250.00 will get you print-ready film and the rights to use it.  Plus you'll get a contract that says when the time comes we'll change it to 2001 for $75, and for $50.00 we'll change it to 2002.  To 2003 for $25, and we'll teach you how to change it yourselves in 2004 for free (maybe your computer will be able to do it by itself by then, but we doubt it).  If you want to buy the complete package at once we'll only charge $325.00.  You save $75.00.  Plus if you act now, we'll send you are slides. So please reply by mail today, we're fuckin' serious.

 

God bless Brooklyn (we used to live there),

 

 

A.K.U.S.A.