To Whom it May Concern,
Real Postmasters usually deny the fact that licking stamps can and will make you insane in the membrane or the brainchild depending through which eyes they look at it: The eyes of a child (your inner child, for example); or the eyes of a manchild (your real self, we hope). Are you man enough to fight the good fight for what you really believe in?! (we are assuming that it's art not war) Move beyond the edge and you will get what you deserve. What you deserve above all Mister Master is something that we members of A.K.U.S.A. believe first and foremost: Honor. Therefore, we honor you with the enclosed logo that we made.
If you accept this gift, you can do us a little favor. Maybe to start things off you can put us in a group show, and from there we can start negotiating our future together. Or you could just send us $300 to get print-ready film and the rights to use the logo if you don't believe in us. Stand tall. Never Surrender. Show 'em all, let the critics sort 'em out.
With love in time of war and peace,