Dear Mr. Weber

We remember the times when we would call you Johnny. Back in the days when Allan Macollum was still a nobody, and you were a small time dealer.

We introduced you to our dear friend Allan, who doesn't even speak to us anymore. And we designed your logo, the best logo in Soho. What did we get? Nothing, not even a show, which was not surprising since we moved to Chelsea, and you guys thought we were cheap.

All of this is forgotten most of the time, but since you just moved to our 'hood, we're hoping you'll give us a second chance. We know we spread some nasty rumors about you and Allan, but we hope you forgive us, we forgive you. Please accept this new logo, it's time for a new start, in a new (to you) neighborhood. It's not too expensive, $445 will do just fine, and maybe a little

retrospective (just kidding). These are tough times for all of us, except for that fucker Matthew Marks.

Keep in touch Johnny, and give Allan a warm hug from us for you. Oh yeah, that whole "surrogate” thing was our idea. Do not forget the ones you love.

We are here to stay,

A.K.U.S.A.